It’s OK if you don’t know how much more you can handle. It’s fine if you don’t know what to do next. Eventually, you’ll let go of how things should be and start to see possibilities based on reality. It’s your life – grasp the steering wheel and force yourself to pay attention to where you’re going. – Wendy Keller
Wendy is the author of the ebook “How to Stop Hurting and Start Living Again”.
It is YOUR Life : Quotes
Posted on May 31, 2012, in Quotes. Bookmark the permalink. 16 Comments.
Fantastic…thanks Wendy, just what I needed to hear. Wasted too much time already now it’s time to take control back!
It’s not important how many time u fall down,important is too get up every time!
I am going thru a very difficult time. I have been emotionally abused for 35 years. For the first 15, I suffered abuse from my father and then ended up marrying a man just like my father. For the last 20 years, he has been emotionally abusive, controlling, dominating, isolating me from friends. He has sucked the life out of me, ripped my soul out of my very being, and beat me down to nothing. I have stayed only for my child of whom has just recently graduated. This was my purpose for staying and taking the abuse the entire time. Now I am facing the decision to leave and pursue my own happiness and leave this abusive relationship. I am just afraid of the unknown and the “guilt” of leaving my daughter. She will leave for college this fall and is very independent so I don’t know why I feel this extreme guilt…. I have no family support and am having a very difficult time dealing emotionally with this but know I have to leave this situation for my own well being. How do I find strength and peace with this decision?
Take care of YOU for a change! I did much the same, even being alone is much better than being degraded. Life DOES go on!
put it in Gods hands, he knows your needs. you find strength by putting all your faith to him. If you don’t believe in God , then any higher power you do believe in. You payed your dues, you waitied til your child was grown, now its time for you. It’s hard, trust me I know. but it all works out in the end.
i feel you are telling my life story ,i am in the exact same situation ,26 years of marriage i will also like to know what to do
I have done the same thing, stayed for the kids for 28 years! Big mistake! Two things that I have learned (so far) since I left him in April: 1. Quit beating myself up for staying as long as I did. 2. Be selfish, put yourself first for a change. In 28 years it was ALWAYS about him or the kids. Well the kids are grown and he just don’t care, so you need to take care of YOU!!!! If you don’t who will? It’s a very difficult road but one day at a time….every day you will feel just a tiny bit better than the previous day, than that’s an improvement. Take that first step and stick to it!!! It’s soooo worth it, cause YOUR worth it! Hugs to you.
Hi, i’m 11 months into leaving my husband of 15 years.He too emotionally abused me and dominated me and controlled me and yelled and shouted at me.
I have a 7 year old daughter, and I left for her but for me too. She heard what he was saying to me and I didn’t want her growing up thinking that it is acceptable for a person to speak to anyone that way.
I turned 40 and decided that I had two choices I could hang on in there and hope that by a miracle he would change and realize what a pig he was or I could kick him out!
I kicked his sorry ass out, it was the most difficult decision I have ever made in my life, I cried for the lost love I thought we had, for the dreams we talked about! I cried for my daughter not having her Dad to see every day.
Now 11 months on I still get sad days after 15 years I guess you will but do you know what I don’t have anyone to answer to any more I don’t have someone yelling at me, no one be litling me, criticizing me, the list is endless.
When you are in a situation like this your self esteem is so low that you really don’t think you deserve to be happy or that you can cope on your own – this is what he wanted as thats the controlling side of this beast of a person!!
Well I’ve proved to myself that I am actually so much stronger than i ever thought I could be I’m still running the small business that we set up together and look after my daughter mostly solely too!!
I was at rock bottom and if I had stayed would have had a nervous breakdown, I left him for myself and my daughter as we deserve better – you do too.
I wish you all the luck in the world, and don’t ever again let any one tell you that you are nothing but fabulous!!
x
we are riding of same boat Rachel…it’s there lost not ours…but a way on moving on faster is to learn how to accept and forgive and give your kindness to those who made your disastrous kuz more than we ever know they are the one who is flop. I am 10 yrs and 2 months separated. leaving him was the most righteous thing i did in my married life. am happy now with my two kids and i never ask for more
) God bless and more power.
I left a bad marriage, too. Get on your knees, pray for strength (although you know you are strong) and just do it. It was the hardest decision I made, too, and I cried about leaving him, feeling guilty, asking what could I have done better. A therapist helped me see that he would never change since he beat his first wife, and I didn’t want to be next. Please let us know how you’re doing. Take a leap of faith and don’t look back. Who knows, your daughter may be saying to herself, “Now that I’m out of high school, maybe mom will feel OK leaving.” Good luck, and God bless.
Leave, now. Go far away. I did and did not wait. Your life is YOURS, you are amazing, and you can do anything YOU want to do! Run now while you have the chance. Your daughter will find you. Good luck and God’s speed!
nice post
regrads
life quotes
its really tough leaving but even tougher staying gone. I find myself missing this person so badly that i end up calling and inviting him over knowing he will leave and i just let myself down again.im left worse than i was at time i called him.ive got to find the strength not to keep asking him back.ive got to let go for good.
michelle likes this
The sad thing I see in the comments above is that people “have stayed for the kids”. In staying for the kids the kids have been taught that it’s okay for someone to abuse them and may end up in an abusive relationship themselves for the very reason that someone stayed in a relationship for them. The best thing you can do for your children is show them that abuse is wrong by leaving.
And yes, being alone is hard. I’ve been there myself so I know the challenges faced, that you call the person because you are lonely and miss them or that you are scared to face the world alone. I’ve had a history of “bad” relationships but now that I have been on my own, more or less, for the past 19 years I can honestly say that facing the fear and embracing the “good” has left me happier, less stressed and with better relationships with my kids than I ever would have been able to have had I stayed.
I am not trying to be self-righteous here…I still find myself looking at the “bad boys” and sometimes even dating them for awhile but now, at least, I recognize very soon that I am in an old pattern and stop it as quickly as possible. The next step is to stop repeating the pattern and start looking at the “good guys” as the ones whom I am worthy of because it’s true.
It’s also true for everyone who has posted here.
Христос говорит: “Придите ко Мне… и Я успокою вас”. Мы не боги, но вы сделала правельный выбор обратившись к НАМ. Вычеркните его из своей жизни, назад хода нет. У вас дочь, друзья… Все когда-то приходится делать занова, и вы начните с дочерью с чистого листа, делая выводы о тех муках и страданиях которые Вы пережили. Да благославит нас Господь Бог!!! Удачи Вам и счастья! Все пройдет!… И новая любовь придет в ваш дом с новыми чувствами и радостью жизни