Category Archives: Reflections
Written By WENDY KELLER
…even if it hurts
It’s astonishing how many people right this minute are trying to cope with the fact that their heart is broken, they are deeply sad or depressed, or are managing traumatic things happening in their lives – yet they still need to function in their daily lives.
Maybe you’re one of them?
If so, this post is for you.
When I discovered that my only still-living child had decided to use drugs to try to cope with her pain after our house burned down, her dog died in the blaze, and her father got his second divorce, I felt like I’d been hit by a semi-truck and dragged for several miles. I’d wake up too early, staring at the ceiling, tears gushing. I felt I was unable to get out of bed. Can you relate?
And yet, there were things I had to do. Responsibilities I had on my shoulders. Heavy expenses incurred from the treatment center I had sent her to against her will. It seemed impossible to function in that thick, overwhelming emotional fog, but yet, it wasn’t an option. I had to get it together.
Here are some things I’ve learned along the way that might help you function if you’re in that space right now:
1] Accept that life has cycles of joy and pain.
The Chinese book of wisdom, the “I-Ching”, points out that there are seasons in our lives just like in nature.
It’s really awful when you’re in a dark place, but recognize that this too shall pass. Like Solomon wrote, “To everything there is a season…” Take comfort in the fact that while you’re still breathing, things are changing.
2] Scrounge around for healthy comforts.
You know yourself best. What makes you feel a little bit better? Give it to yourself.
I’m not talking about drugs, alcohol, over-eating or over-sleeping or anything like that. Those are temporary fixes that come with more problems than solutions. But call a friend who makes you laugh. If nature restores your broken spirit, take that hike. If playing fetch with your dog makes you smile, take time to throw the ball or the stick. Now is when you have to pull out your own personal “feel good” strategies and give yourself permission (and time!) to apply as many as you can to your daily life.
3] Stop yelling at yourself.
Just take a deep breath and tell that mean bully inside your head to leave you alone.
Yeah, maybe this situation IS wholly or partly your fault. Poor you. Tough luck. The question isn’t who is to blame (which solves nothing) but “What can I do now?” When you honestly ask that question instead of burn up your energy beating yourself up, you find things that cause you to get into action. Action has a tendency to pull you out of the doldrums and into a better place. List proactive solutions…and start applying them.
There’s no magic wand that will suddenly make everything all better forever and ever. Nobody really has that kind of life, no matter what you think from the outside. We all just get different problems of different sizes and shapes throughout the course of our lifetime. Don’t let this one you’re facing now hold you underwater any longer!
Please try the steps above and comment on this blog – What worked for you? What did you do? How are you feeling now?
Wendy Keller writes about healing, inner strength and surviving. To read more of her wonderful essays on life, subscribe to her blog and go here: Stop Hurting and Start Healing
Here’s how to know whether you’re putting up with less than you deserve:
Read more HERE.
I cannot say enough about the delight that is wrapped in this beautiful little gift book: “IN THE GARDEN OF HAPPINESS“.
When Dodinsky first published “In the Garden of Thoughts” I was an instant devotee. Lyrically beautiful thoughts about life, presented with charming original artwork. It is my very favorite gift for others, for any and all occasions and for individuals of all ages.
Now, “In the Garden of Happiness” has raised my delight another octave.
There is something so magical about the way Dodinsky captures a profound thought in a truly remarkably new way, with words that reach around your heart and your spirit inciting smiles of delight – as well as moments of thoughtful reflection. The philosophical concepts and the whimsical artwork truly make this book a jewel.
This jewel has facets that make it perfect for youth in their tweens … and teenagers as well. It catches the light of the soul from a slightly different angle for seniors who might be finding themselves in the twilight of their lives, with all their memories and life experiences. AND there are facets that shine in a profoundly magnificent way for people of all ages and all situations in between.
I love how I can pick up this little jewel of a book when I only have a quick minute – and find a message that brings hope to my heart and a smile to my lips. Off I go! Remembering that happiness is a choice.
I love how I can pick up this little book in the quiet of the day, when I am focused on reflection, and find a message that sets me upon a path of contemplation so much deeper than my mere cursory readings of the same page … and how it results in me finding new truths about life and choice, happiness and intention.
Dodinsky presents myriad facts of happiness, perfectly chosen and artfully brilliant with light that reaches me deeply – and helps me shine to the world as I walk through my day.
Christmas gift? Wedding gift? Graduation gift? Get well gift? Just because I’m thinking of you gift? Gift for that special person you love? For your child or grandchild? Oh my … the list goes on and on. I sincerely would gift this magnificent book – “In the Garden of Happiness” – to almost anyone for any occasion.
Of course, I made to sure get myself a copy first! And I cherish it.
[View sample pages from the book!]
[This particular essay is often attributed to Brad Pitt. But according to SNOPES, a fact-checking website, Brad Pitt did not author this beautiful essay. The writer remains a mystery but it doesn’t take away anything from the beauty and inspiration of the story. Hope you enjoy it!]
My wife got sick. She was constantly nervous because of problems at work, personal life, her failures and problems with children. She has lost 30 pounds and weighted about 90 pounds in her 35 years. She got very skinny, and was constantly crying. She was not a happy woman. She had suffered from continuing headaches, heart pain and jammed nerves in her back and ribs. She did not sleep well, falling asleep only in the morning and got tired very quickly during the day.
Our relationship was on the verge of break up. Her beauty was leaving her somewhere, she had bags under her eyes, she was poking her head, and stopped taking care of herself. She refused to shoot the films and rejected any role. I lost hope and thought that we’ll get divorced soon … But then I decided to act on it. After all I’ve got the most beautiful woman on the earth. She is the ideal of more than half of men and women on earth, and I was the one allowed to fall asleep next to her and to hug her shoulders.
I began to pepper her with flowers, kisses and complements. I surprised her and pleased every minute. I gave her lots of gifts and lived just for her. I spoke in public only about her. I incorporated all themes in her direction. I praised her in front of her own and our mutual friends.
You won’t believe it, but she blossomed. She became better. She gained weight, was no longer nervous and loved me even more than ever. I had no clue that she can LOVE that much. And then I realized one thing: the woman is the reflection of her man. If you love her to the point of madness, she will become it.
The end of the story, but we hope this is the beginning of a beautiful relationship with your significant other. — Positive Outlooks Team