Too Many Rules In One Day

By Christophe Fusaro

(Chris is a young police officer who started blogging–The Adventures of Captain Imperfecto–as a way to cope with the death of their twin daughters six years ago and the unexpected and very painful loss of his wife just this March of 2012 .  He is left alone to raise two beautiful sons.) Join his Facebook page here.

The decision to get away for the day happened fast. I had set up rules of the house but the kids had other ideas. The thought of forty- eight hours of rule breaking and educating them on the rules over and over to reaffirm them, made my weekend uneasy.

Christopher, the writer

“Okay guys, lets go get dressed we are going for a drive,” I announce.

The boys ignore me while they play with their cars in their own little world and their own little rules.

“Guys. Want to go bye-bye,” I said with a soft tone.

Like dogs hearing the dog food hit the bowl at dinner time, they jumped into action and mugged me while I sat on the couch.

“Now I got your attention, lets get dressed all of us,” I say because going for a drive in boxer shorts and diapers wasn’t going to fly.

I manage to get both boys dressed and in their carseats, boy am I getting better at this, and then I scurry about the house grabbing whatever I think we will need, just in case I decide will stay somewhere other then home, later that evening.

Sniff- Clean
Sniff- Eh, will do
Sniff- oh no, nope

I throw what I can, mainly in the diaper bag, that I bought with a manly man appeal, and used a green friendly Wal-Mart bag for the rest of the clothes. There are rules when it comes to being eco-friendly to the environment.  I shove what I can in the bag and I think to myself- boy do I need a nice duffle bag.

I jump in the van and seat belt myself in. I look over my shoulder at my boys.

“Everyone still strapped in?” I announce, “there are rules that say you have to wear those seat belts.”

Christopher’s kids


With that final announcement, I drove down the road towards north bound I-95, a major east coast interstate, for our trip to the Orlando area. And of course on this two and half hour drive, I obeyed all the traffic rules that I am required to. Even as the other drivers in their cars around me broke them.

The boys were preoccupied by the DVD player, while I drove in an almost straight line with no idea where I was going. I was breaking the travel rules without having an itinerary, but who cares when it comes to road trips. You’re suppose to be spontaneous. On our journey, I decided that we would try and stay at a Walt Disney Resort.

I called up the customer relations, that booked Disney hotel rooms, and spoke to a nice lady and with classic Disney style made me feel good.

“Hi, I know you have rules when booking a reservation,” I said to Mindy the Disney representative, “however, I decided to make a last minute trip. Do you have a room available?”

And with a little Disney magic we had a room in a nice resort with a heavy toll to be paid. I was hoping it would be worth it.

After we settled in, I got the boys dressed for the pool. Before we arrived to the aquatic entertainment, I thought I better feed the boys even though there are rules that warn people about eating and swimming soon after.

“I know you guys will hardly eat but always obey the rules and wait for the food to digest before swimming,” I said to them, as if they had a clue what I was talking about. Hell even I don’t know why that is a rule.

After our quick meal it was time for some fun in the sun and enjoy some Disney magic in the pool. It was a beautiful late afternoon. The sky was a bright blue and the clear blue sky surrounded this piece of earth as if God himself had his arms around us. The sun was bright, but soft enough for the rays to gently touch our skin. The breeze was nice enough to fan the heat, that absorbed into our flesh and the people were friendly like you would hope to find  in a perfect world. You couldn’t ask for a better day.

“Rules!” I hear a voice shout out of nowhere, shaking me out of nirvana.

“We have rules, sir.” I look around, as if it were a voice from the heavens chastising me.

I then spot a young lifeguard looking in my direction. I then look around to see if he was talking to me until finally I just yell out loud for the entire pool party to hear.

“ME!” as I point to myself with my index finger.

“Yes you,” the angry lifeguard proclaimed, “ You can not toss your kid in the pool, its against the rules and you sir, did it twice,” he said calling me out in the sea of many.

“Yes, you’re right I did toss my kids in the pool,” being the proud daddy that I am.

“Well, you can not throw them in the pool, we have rules observe them,” he said.

“Oh, I just see the rule that says, NO DIVING, which we didn’t do.” I told him stoically.

“Well sir, everyone has rules and so does Mickey Mouse, so no jumping, diving, kicking,  hopping, skipping, flipping, using your shoulders as a spring board, cannon balls, jack knifes, tossing, grabbing or any function that entails throwing your kids”, he said in one breath.

I just stared at him and got out of the pool and went to my lounge chair.

“Sir, you don’t have to leave you know, just stating the rules,” he told me with a softer tone.

“No you’re right, you’re right,” I said. “I forgot to put on sun block. The rule is, you should use over SPF 50,” I said proudly displaying my tube of sun block that I applied to my kids prior to leaving the hotel room.

“Very good sir,” the lifeguard said, “Did you also know you should apply the sunblock a half hour before getting wet?”

Damn rules.

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21 Replies to “Too Many Rules In One Day”

  1. Spot on with this write-up, I absolutely think this amazing site needs a great deal more attention. I’ll probably be back again to
    read through more, thanks for the information!

  2. Write more, thats all I have to say. Literally,
    it seems as though you relied on the video to make your point.
    You obviously know what youre talking about, why throw away your intelligence on just
    posting videos to your site when you could be giving us something enlightening
    to read?

  3. Write more, thats all I have to say. Literally, it seems as though you relied on the video to make your point.
    You obviously know what youre talking about, why throw away your intelligence on just posting videos
    to your weblog when you could be giving us something enlightening to read?

  4. I feel your pain…I was widowed in 1996 when my kids were 21, 18 and 3…after the first months of grief I sold some stuff, bought an RV and camped all over the USA with my little boy and the older ones whenever they could join us and tried to thrive, not just survive. The 3 year old is now 19 and the older kids have given us 4 grandchildren…. I remarried after 9 years and we remember our spouses who have passed on and enjoy the life we’ve been given. Carry on and be strong…those kids deserve your best…

  5. as someone who was never blessed with children and see so many stories of abused children i comfort myself that there are parents in this world like you. just keep on loving them, treating them to new experiences, and giving them reasonable boundries and reap the love they will give you in return

  6. I think it is great that you are able to be so spontaneous, what a treat is must have been that day. I admire you and the strength it must take to get through all the trials you have endured. This is such a cute reminder that you are strong, courageous, caring, loving, and so much more to those two boys of yours. Be strong and true and you your dreams can come true. From one struggler to another.

  7. Hi . Enjoyed reading about your unplanned trip. “Rules are made to be broken…. sometimes”lol It is 5.30 here in Cape Town and I am playing for time to wake my two up for school by reading your blog. My heart goes out to you .Parenthood can be a scary job and worse when facing it alone. May I say you are doing a great job SIR . Hats off to you. My mantra is that Humour makes you cope with most things!!!looking forward to your next blog.

  8. I have to say – too many rules! Life is full of rules and your trip is the way to go!
    Improvise – less planning is better – so many happenings in life are out of our control. Let life play itself out. We might all be surprised with positive healthy results — as long as they are safe for the kids!!
    Enjoy life – do what makes you smile!
    Smile – you are doing a Great job – your kids are loved, not hungry and clean!
    Keep doing what you are doing – it works!!!

  9. Crap the rules! Ditch it! And oh by the way the boys are sooooooo adorable, i want to put them in my pocket and have them for myself. Such sweethearts! Youre a strong man raising them on your own. God bless you always, and yeah! I love the blog lol! : )) cheers!

  10. Being a mom of two boys (now adults) with a husband (military) who was gone overseas most of their young growing-up years, therefore making me a single mom most of their lives, I have to say (based on my own experiences) you are doing a great job!! I love it that you took on a road trip/vacation of this magnitude while your boys are so young. Keep doing!!! God bless you and your boys.

  11. sometimes you just have to break the rules….good job! (From a mom of six and grandma (nanna) to 18. You’re doing fantastic!

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