Now That You Put It That Way

Written by Unknown Author

[If you have a great sense of humor please proceed. If not, then don’t read any further and please look at this unicorn.]

A mother passing by her daughter’s bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then she saw an envelope propped up prominently on the center of the bed. It was addressed, “Mom.” With the worst premonition, she opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:

Dear Mom:

It is with great regret and sorrow that I’m writing you. I had to elope with my new boyfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Dad and you. I’ve been finding real passion with Ahmed and he is so nice-even with all his piercings, tattoos, beard, and his motorcycle clothes. But it’s not only the passion Mom, I’m pregnant and Ahmed said that we will be very happy. He already owns a woman with old vintage suitcase on the roadtrailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. He wants to have many more children with me and that’s now one of my dreams too.

Ahmed taught me that marijuana doesn’t really hurt anyone and we’ll be growing it for us and trading it with his friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we’ll pray that time will cure Ahmed of his gonorrhea so he will feel better about himself. Don’t worry Mom, I’m 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I’m sure we’ll be back to visit so you can get to know your grand children.

Your daughter,

Judith

PS: Mom, none of the above is true. I’m over at the neighbor’s house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card that’s in my desk center drawer. I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home.

 


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2 Replies to “Now That You Put It That Way”

  1. Lol ;p this kiddo is so afraid to be punished. then making some funny moments with such bad grades can make her mommy think that she should be taking good care of this kiddo especially on her teenage (no matter what grade she had) Lol ;p

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