Kenny and I have been married for 5.5 years. We knew we always wanted a family but didn’t know when the right time to start trying was. After about a year and a half of being married, we decided to start trying. I was still in school but promised myself that no matter what I would finish my degree.
After trying for several months and nothing happening, I decided to go to an OB-GYN and get myself checked out just to ensure everything was okey. I assumed I would have no problem getting pregnant since my mom has 6 kids. I thought it would be easy and I would be able to get pregnant whenever I wanted.
Unfortunately, this was not the case at all. I found out that I had PCOS and that it plays a big role in infertility with many women. I was sad but knew in my heart I would be a mother one day. I started taking some medicine to help with my situation and it ended up working after about 8 months or so of trying. I found out I was pregnant. I was in complete shock! I remember taking what felt like a million tests because I just couldn’t believe it.
I went to the doctor the following Monday and they confirmed it. We were ecstatic! We face-timed our families and told some of our closest friends and were just over the moon about this news. My mom sent gifts, friends sent gifts, and in a matter of days all that excitement was gone.
I experienced signs of miscarriage and feared the worst. I was reading all kinds of stuff on google and knew something wasn’t right. I went back to the doctor and found out later that evening that I did in fact have a miscarriage and that my levels didn’t increase like they were supposed to.
I remember getting the phone call and not being able to speak to the lady who called because I was crying so bad that I couldn’t catch my breath. When I could finally get something out…I just remember asking, “Are you sure?” “Could this be wrong?” and she just had to tell me no that I had definitely miscarried. It was heartbreaking in every way.
I can’t explain the emotions I felt that day and the emotions I still feel to this day thinking of the loss of my sweet baby. There is literally no way to describe that kind of pain and unless you’ve been through it yourself, you really just don’t have a clue.
After continuing to try and trying different medications for over a year and it not being successful, I just kind of gave up. I was tired of all the medicine. I was tired of all the doctor appointments and I was tired of seeing all the negative pregnancy tests. I felt like I wasn’t getting anywhere so I just quit taking my medicine all together and put it on the back burner. I was discouraged. I was hurt. I felt like God had forgotten about me.
I remember going to church and it being hard for me to worship. It was hard for me to listen to the sermons because I had so much bitterness in my heart. Not only from not being able to get pregnant, but also never being able to meet the baby I had. I was not in a good place.
Months went by and it seemed like everyone was pregnant. Every time I got on social media it seemed like someone else was pregnant. Everywhere I went I felt like I saw a million pregnant women and it hurt bad.
I was just in a state of depression with very little hope. I prayed and prayed and cried out to God to heal my broken heart and to give me peace. I prayed that He would be able to use my story for His glory.
I felt differently after that and I was able to minister to many people who went through the same thing that I had gone through. God was using my pain and my misery for His ministry and being able to help others blessed me more than anything.
I remember playing the song, “Do It Again” by Elevation and crying my eyes out as I sang those words believing God would do it again and that He would make a way where there was no way. It was then easy again to worship Him and praise Him no mater what.
After all, if I can praise Him in the good times, I can sure as heck praise Him in the storm. Things are constantly changing everyday, but God is the same yesterday, today, and forever. He is faithful always. He comforted me and gave me peace in a time when I needed it most.
More time went by and Kenny got serious and told me we needed to start trying again and that he didn’t want to wait anymore or just stay stuck. We decided to go to a fertility specialist. We started new medicine and had to go very often for blood work and different tests. It was exhausting but we knew it would be worth it. We prayed hard that it would happen and that His will would be done. Be careful of what you pray for! lol
After a year of different medicines, a million tests, getting stuck every week, ultrasounds, driving an hour there and an hour back 2-3 times a week, leaving the house at 5 AM so I could make it there in time to get back to work without having to make up time or take sick days, and 1 failed attempt, we finally got some good news.
Kenny went with me to every appointment and was there for me constantly for any support I needed. It meant more to me than he will ever know. He kept me calm and reassured me God is faithful. We arrived at the doctors office and got the news we had been desperately praying for. I was pregnant!
We were so excited but I was scared to death not knowing what might happen. We prayed and believed God would take care of us and our baby. I kept going back and my levels kept going up so that was great to keep seeing good results. We went in for our first ultrasound when I was 6 weeks.
We were nervous but more excited than anything. I remember laying there scared to death just ready to see a baby. Well let me just tell you…I did not just see a baby. Didn’t just see 2 babies. Not even 3. But we saw 4 babies on that screen.
Yes 4! So God gave us a baby for every year of infertility that we experienced. He blessed us exceedingly abundantly above all we could ask or think.
We are still in awe of what God did and continues to do each and every week with these miracle babies. They’re growing and are doing so well. I want to thank every single person who has prayed for us and who has encouraged us along this journey. I wouldn’t wish infertility on my worst enemy…but when you have a support system like ours, it makes it easier.
I want to say to any woman out there who has experienced a miscarriage or infertility, please don’t lose hope. I know it’s hard and I know we may not end up with the same story but I know our God is the same. So lean on Him. He is all you need to get you through. I pray for you and I know that He is faithful no matter what. He’s got you. Trust in Him.
I will leave you with a verse that has meant so much to us during this time of waiting…
20 Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, 21 to Him beglory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen.
P.S.–I have 5 Valentines! ❤❤❤❤❤