How often do you look up certain people on Facebook or Instagram only to become annoyed, jealous or angry? We all do it. We torture ourselves. We cyber stalk people and then compare our lives to theirs. We compare our relationships, our goodness, our beauty and our happiness. Why?
Unsplash | John Schnobrich
We start with low self-esteem, we check out someone’s highlight reel on social media, it makes us feel like we are “less than” and the self-esteem gets knocked down even lower. It’s a vicious cycle. We have to stop! People are going to post their best moments, their best selves, and their best selfies. We don’t often see what goes on behind closed doors. We have no idea what that person’s life is really like. But we form our judgment based on what social media allows us to see. It’s really all a head game.
“Comparison is the thief of joy.” Period.
So if you find yourself constantly comparing yourself to others, feeling jealous or insecure, or spending too much time secretly stalking, here are some things to remember.
1) People only show you what they want you to see. Just because it seems like someone has the perfect life, the perfect body, the perfect boyfriend/girlfriend, doesn’t mean that they do. And it’s not that people even post these things to “show off” but if you’re like me, you just want to keep things positive. So most people don’t post about the bad stuff. No one’s life is perfect. Everyone has their demons. We all have our flaws and our insecurities and dark sides. Always remember that when you’re studying
and envying the life of someone who seems to have it all together.
2) Don’t “follow” people who bring out any sort of negative emotion. Whether its jealousy or anger, it doesn’t matter, don’t do it. That “unfollow” button is magical. It’s amazing how awesome you start to feel after a few days of seeing only the things that make you feel happy! Stop making yourself miserable. Stop looking. It serves no purpose but to make you upset and who wants to be upset? Save your news-feed for people who lift you up, who brighten your day and who make you heart content.
3) Block anyone who might not have good intentions towards you. When I say Social Media can be evil, what I also mean is that people can use it for evil. People you think you can trust can use things against you. People who know your weaknesses will go out of their way to hurt you with them. So if you feel that someone out there in cyber land might not have your best interests at heart, hit that block button. There will always be “friends” who don’t want you to live your best life. Don’t feel bad about removing that toxicity from your life.
Unsplash | NordWood Themes
4) You are unique and awesome. I read a quote once that completely changed my view about social media. “The reason why we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind the scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel”. That is one of my favorite quotes because it is 100% spot on. Jealousy and insecurity stems from comparison. Yet, what we use to base our perceptions on is mostly a facade. It’s a highlight reel! So stop comparing.
You are YOU! You have your own unique set of quirks, mannerisms, habits, hobbies, and personality traits. There is not one person exactly like you. How can you embrace all of your wonderful parts when you’re caught up in wanting to be more like someone else? Love yourself enough to know that you are enough, you’re MORE than enough and God created you in his own perfect image. He knew what He was doing!
5) Don’t be afraid to delete your social media accounts. There was a time when I had Snapchat, Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter. Talk about information overload. I found myself spending WAY too much time scrolling and not enough time doing things that would really improve my life. I also spent too much time with negative feelings because of things that I would see on these platforms. Guess what? It’s not worth it!! Don’t be afraid to toss anything that brings out negativity in you. And yes, what we see on Social Media can absolutely bring out that darkness, if we let it. So don’t let it.
If you find yourself searching for things that will only bring you down, you won’t have room for all the good stuff. I recently cut out Instagram and Snapchat. I use Twitter only for my blog, and I use Facebook to keep up with my friends and family. Yes, I still see things once in a while that bother me. But the moment that feeling starts, I will either “unfollow” or “block” any way that I can because life is too short to be feeling as if we are not enough or not as good. And life is too short to be constantly comparing. So if it’s not bringing you joy, delete it.
Just ask yourself, do you want to feel happy? Then do what it takes to be happy. Sometimes that means taking a break from certain things, yes, even social media. If I can do it, you can do it. Your beautiful soul will thank you!
About the author:
Laura Scott is the person behind Looping Laura, a writer who hopes to spread some lightness in dark times. She is on the wonderful journey of self-discovery and is very passionate about love, laughter and music. In the past year, she has decided to make some of her writings public, in the hopes of encouraging others to share their story and find their peace. You can also follow her on Twitter.