“I spent so many years walking on egg shells… never doing or saying the right thing. One day I decided I’d had enough and stomped all over them. Those broken egg shells cut me deeply as I walked away… but this… was the most beautiful pain I had ever felt.” – S.L. Heaton
For far too long, you’ve been afraid of what you say, how you act and who you are. Somewhere along your journey, you’ve formed this opinion of yourself that you don’t matter and that you are just annoying. Something happened to you that made you believe you are worthless.
Maybe it was abuse or assault. Maybe it was shame and guilt. No matter what triggered this belief, it is carved so deep into your core that you have become desperate. You are desperate to keep the peace, desperate to be liked, desperate to keep everyone else happy. Everyone else, but you.
When you don’t know your worth, you make poor choices. You develop relationships with people that really have no place in your life. People who will take every little bit of self-love that you can still hold on to. You choose the takers.
Being needed makes you feel special and suddenly, you matter! Just like that, someone comes along and takes whatever it is that you can give, and you gladly give it away because now you mean something to someone. They take and take until there’s nothing left to give.
And before you know it, you find yourself walking on those egg shells once again. Don’t stir the pot. Don’t make anyone upset or they’ll leave you. You tip toe over shards of glass, just praying you don’t get cut too badly.
This is no way to live.
You deserve someone who gives back. You deserve to heal. You deserve to feel comfortable to be yourself, un-apologetically. If something is bothering you, you deserve to speak up. Speak your mind.
You deserve to be heard. You deserve to breathe again. One day, when you realize your worth and you no longer let others control your peace, you will notice that your shoulders are no longer shrugged. You will notice that your body is not tensed up and your heart is not racing.
Your back will no longer be full of knots and tension. You will sit at home at night and smile because all is well in the world and there is no one there to judge you, condemn you or belittle you. You will feel safe in your own space.
You are free to be exactly who you are. Find yourself and be yourself. Life is too short to spend every day stressed out, anxious and nervous. You deserve to be content, as light as air and happy. Be a bright light in the darkness so that the people you care about also become inspired to find their best selves. Stop holding back. Because whether you realize it or not, holding back is also lying to yourself.
Decide that you are no longer going to be controlled by anyone else in any way. You are done being stifled. You are done being on your best behavior. You make your own choices now and you are unstoppable. You’re going to do all the things that make YOU happy. You’ll notice the ripple effect of how everyone near and dear to you are now becoming happier too!
Stop the madness. Stop the vicious cycle of people pleasing. The takers will just keep taking. Life is about give AND take. It’s a two way street. To give back, you have to have something left to give.
Don’t let yourself bleed out. Sweep aside those egg shells and stomp those feet on solid ground. Stomp in the direction of courage, faith, compromise, love and happiness. No more egg shells. No more broken glass. Turn whatever cut you into a stepping stone.
There may always be a scar, but that scar is a reminder of where to never walk again.
About the author:
Laura Scott is the person behind Looping Laura, a writer who hopes to spread some lightness in dark times. She is on the wonderful journey of self-discovery and is very passionate about love, laughter and music. In the past year, she has decided to make some of her writings public, in the hopes of encouraging others to share their story and find their peace. You can also follow her on Twitter.